Adventures in a new town

I love a new adventure, and a new experience. Today was chalked full of them.

The day started off with a first time visit to a new church which was awesome! I was raised in a church with mennonite roots, though its very progressive for having such conservative roots. We were always slightly turned off by pentacostal churches by how forward they were, how expressive they were and how long worship lasted. Well, as I move away and start to establish life for myself I'm learning the denomination I go to is entirely what fits for me. I went to a pentacostal church today and loved it. I love to sing and dance and worship God. It was a great time. We love when small children dance along yet we are far too stuck in our little box of conservative worship. So I loved it.

Then I went to market with my roomate. I rode the bus for the first time. Walked around downtown for the first time. Or maybe it was uptown? How do you even know? It's all relational. I'm not used to the mulitiplicity of the city, for example, I asked the bus driver, "does this bus go to market?" and he said "which one?" wait, there's more than one?!?! Anyway. We got off at the sketchy stop with all the interesting people, then went to market and I bought local fresh fruit, yum.

As I was walking along eating it a homeless lady crossing the street says to me, "You look so cool, the way you put that in your mouth". Her delivery was entirely genuine. It was just way too odd. Also I went to the most awesome used bookstore EVER. I just love the smell of them. It had the coolest chair, and a giant poster of ALF, plus many amazing amazing books. Yup. In love. Who knew this city had so much to offer?

Where did this summer go? Seriously.

I've got all these things running through my head right now. I've gotten up early this morning to finish packing since I'm moving tomorrow right after work, and my dad is packing all my stuff in his truck tonight while I'm still at work.

Last night I got together with all my girls, which has happened not enough this summer. We were trying to organize a day to get together for quite some time, since Ashley got engaged actually. So last night we finally got 4 of the 5 bridesmaids together (remind me not to have a big wedding party, its hard work getting schedules together!) We wrote on, stuffed, stamped and addressed the save the date cards and chatted, leafed through wedding magazines and just had an overall good time together.

I'm so excited for Ashley's wedding. The first of my girls to get married. This is just the beginning, before I know it I'll be blinded by all the bling on my girls fingers. And I'm okay with that. I'm ready for that.

I'm not sure if I'm ready for a new town, new people, a new house, a new school, and a real person job, but ready or not, here it comes!

I think I'm going to be abusing skype a lot. Saying goodbye to my girls last night was weird, I just tried to brush it off as a "i'll see you soon" sort of thing. I need them, I really do. I hadn't seen any of them for weeks and I was feeling really down. Now, I feel great. 3 days in a row of seeing one or all of them will do that. It was especially weird saying goodbye to Ashley. We've lived together for 3 years and now we are going our seperate ways to different teacher's colleges for different ages. Our paths are just taking big turns and it's great but sad.

I used to be able to wake up and walk down the hall, flop on Ashley's bed. I'd come home from class everyday and go straight to Ashley's room, flop down on her bed. I always had someone to talk to. In order to fully think through my thoughts and feelings it's best for me to verbalize them. I know it will be fine, it's just going to be different.

Also, life lesson of the day: when packing is going well and productive, turning on friends and the computer will never turn out well haha :)

Life is busy right now. It's good, it is, just busy. There aren't enough hours in the day for me to get done what I need to do.
I work my 5 days of the week and then plan out the two off strategically, or book off for appointments and such.
There are so many people I want to see while home and certain people that I keep pushing off and I feel terrible about but like this week, my best friend is leaving for Peru on tuesday so I had to see her before then. My best guy friend since birth will be home for 2 days and I need to see him, I haven't been in my own bed since Thursday and I picked up some insane sickness on Wednesday that I still haven't been able to shake.

It's just all too much for me right now, I'm struggling to find the pause button or something to slow life down. I'm tired, I'm exhausted, I'm run down. I need rest.

rest.

where are you?

Beautiful things

This song is what I need right now. I first stumbled upon the Michael Gungor band for their song "White Man" which is just a great tongue in cheek song, the things that need to be said. I believe the band may have changed to just Gungor now (?) But I listen to their myspace player often and should invest in a cd when I can. The song that has been stuck in my head, the song on my heart, I just read the lyrics too and they are wonderful. Let me share

Beautiful Things

All this pain
I wonder if I’ll even find my way
I wonder if my life could really change at all
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found
Could a garden come up from this ground at all

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

You make me new, You are making me new
You make me new, You are making me new

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

I don't want to complain about this heat, because I love the warmth and summer and we've been waiting for it SO long, even though this week has just been ridiculous especially having to work outside all day.

So, I'll talk about something else.

I got my hair all cut off. My mother and I both did actually, it was a nice relief in this heat, though I must say I took a mild panic attack in the chair because my mother used to be a hairdresser, and has only allowed two other people to cut my hair ever in my life.

Also, I had a poor experience with short hair in high school. So that fear plus a new person touching my hair with scissors was enough to make me dizzy to say the least.

But I do love it, its wildly different, a whole heck of a lot shorter, I look more mature (or so I'm told) and it's way easier in this heat.

I can't say what I really want to say, how I'm really feeling about something at the moment for fear of that person reading this. But I've come to realize once this happens, things are going to change wildly for us. I hope that person is ready for what is coming.

Read

It never ceases to amaze me how different some people can be.

It's very interesting to analyze our personality similarities and differences against those people we have been friends with our entire lives. It's an interesting dynamic in comparrison to newer friends. I've gone off to university and made plenty of friends based on common interests or social circles. We know we have things in common. I've met a lot of people in my program. I've met a lot of people through church or around the area.

Then I come home, post graduation and hit this weird state of elasticity. I feel as if my heart is stretched between both places moreso now than ever before. My heart is here, Home, the place I was raised, the house I've lived in as long as I can remember. Here is where my church is that I have attended since the first grade, where I met my best friends. This is where the three of them live, and of course my family.

But there, there is home too. There is the opposite, its the most "city" I've ever known. I love being able to walk places, all the time, everywhere. My poor car only leaves the lane if I'm on a time crunch or are uncertain of which buses take me. Generally, I walk. I look around, I discover newness everywhere. Also I have those friends, those wonderful friends I've made out of necessity, they fill a need in my life, a need that is now a void, now that I'm back here.

Don't take me wrong, I love my best friends for a reason. Because I know they will always be my best friends, no matter where I go. But there's a void in our personality differences that is sometimes difficult.

Case in point: I went over to my all time best friends house last night, you know, the home that's your home, the parents that are your parents, the brother that is your brother. That kind of home. My best friend admitted to me the other day (and I cant believe I'd never really noticed) that she had read one book in her entire life. Now, I'm an english major, I buy books like they are going out of style. I'd rather buy books than food. I went to a used bookstore twice in a week and spent more than 50 both visits, and this is a USED bookstore people, that means they cost like 10 at the most. yup.

So I decided I was going to get her reading. She admitted to me, "I just dont know which books to read". Which I think may be true of everyone who says they dont like to read, they just dont know the right books. So I went through my hideaways of books, in my bedroom at least, in my tv table, on my dressers, on the tiny bookshelf, in the closet, under the bed (I have lots of books) and pulled out 5 for her. We will see how they go. Also, the one book she'd ever read I recommended for her highschool ISU.

We went back to her house and I told her parents that I had gotten her reading to which they admitted they too never ever read. Excuse me? You are adults, you should know better. Her mother said, "I'll read something educational, but fiction is a waste of time". I think everyone can see the fallacy in this statement. There is never a time when you are reading and not learning, unless of course you are reading twilight. You know what, I may even be at the point where I'd make the statement I'd rather a person read twilight than not read at all. Weird.

But my point is, you break my heart when you say you don't read because it's boring or you don't learn anything or it's a waste of time. Find a book, there's a book out there for everyone, a style, an author, a genre that will peak your interest and teach you and engage you in ways other mediums can't. Read.

Sizes.

I swear we buy and wear clothes as if the label is printed in large bold letters repeatedly all over the item. We are so caught up in sizes that people wear clothes that they've clearly had to fight to get into, with flesh attempting to escape in any way possible. But the important part is that it said SM on the tag. Or it was a smaller number! Only we know of course but doesn't it feel good.

Well let me tell you, it doesn't look good.

I never thought about how ridiculous this way. I guess it has something to do with our cultures "ability" to shape our bodies and change them when we are less than satisfied. Because let's remember the parts of our bodies that cannot be changed. We have no problem with size shifting there.

Let me tell you the story.

So I was trying on shoes today, my size is about a 6-7 range. I tend to wear a 6.5, which is fairly small on average (the only thing I'd label as "small" on my body) and I found the 6 was WAY too tight. They are cute little sandals, a nice brown leather with turqouise beading, but they were too tight or something on the widest part of my foot. So I tried on the 7, same problem. I had to purchase an 8, AN EIGHT! I have never worn an 8 in my LIFE. Oh the outrage, Oh the horror, Oh the SHOCK! The diet starts immediately, let me tell you...

Oh wait. It's feet. Feet can't be changed. It is what it is. My feet are just wider in spots, thinner in others, really high arches and a second toe that curves along the way. But I love my feet. Size is just a number, I just had to keep trying on pairs until one fit. FIT. This is the key word, not Small, Medium or Large OR 7, 8, or 9. But fit.

Our bodies are our bodies. They are all different, size is just relative. You will always be smaller than someone else, larger than someone else. It just is what it is. Love your body, buy clothes that fit.

That's all I ask.